Selective Amnesia Will Drive Me Crazy

I’m sitting in front of our television  and busy watching a show. Yep, still not reading anything…😛

This girl, the main protagonist, can’t remember a thing from her childhood. While watching this show, I came upon the scary probability of it happening to me.

Me, having an amnesia and forgetting all the books I’ve ever read or worst forgetting even the fact that I love books? Nooooo!🙉

What am I supposed to be doing in my life if I’m not reading any book? And then I started thinking of all the social media accounts that will be erased in my memory and I started panicking. I went mental and wrote my account details per social media account on my ever reliable notebook..

This bout of craziness stopped when I’m done jotting things down.  *sigh*😆

Then I realized the existence of SELECTIVE AMNESIA (there’s such a thing right? I saw it on TV, lol) and I feared for my self. If I had total amnesia, clean slate and all, I won’t know who I am. But if I can only remember some things, how confuse will I be?😱

Imagine remembering the Golden Trio and thinking they’re your friends, real friends. Or all of my book boyfriends and assuming I met all of them and they’ve fallen for ME. All those fantastical worlds you thought you’ve already visited a lot of times. Those magical items you think will work in the real world. And all those spells J.K. Rowling taught me/us. ⚡

Oh, what if in my selective-amnesia-self I won’t know the difference between real life and my ever broad imagination and then my fangirl life, and ALL the books I’ve ever read. I’ll go crazy!😭


Can you guys feel me? 😵

Btw, these emojis are helpful.. Lol.



This is a random post. Sorry for ranting.✌



Realizations While People-Watching

Current location when I wrote this: in a mall, bored out of my mind😪

Surrounded with a lot of people, I’ve never felt soooo alone. I’m in a gloomy (is this a word?) mood this past few days. I’m currently in a reading slump.

I look in front of me and see misses busy with putting makeup on their faces. They look so natural doing that and I thought why can’t I be like them? Someone who cares about their appearance.

On my right is a guy, sleeping. He looks tired, still wearing his uniform from work and I asked myself, “when was the last time I was so tired doing something, anything?”

At my left side, a lady admonishing her son(?) but still smiling. Am I ever gonna have kids? Will I be a great mother?

Everyone around me is in motion. I’ve been sitting here for a while now. Every 5 or 10 minutes, the people around me changes. They leave their sit and probably go back to their busy life. They’ll sit on the benches and rest for a while. Me? I’m sitting here trying to pass the time because I have nothing to do.

I try observing everyone and no one is doing the same thing that I’m doing: people-watching. I just feel so removed (can’t think of a better term) from life. I really need to find a job.

I need to stop comparing myself to others. Maybe I’m just on the wrong crowd. I haven’t met those kindred souls in person, because book bloggers/bibliophiles are my kind of kindred souls.

I’m being melodramatic, I know. Lol. And there’s a background song I don’t recognize, it sounds like an “oldies” or more probably a new song I’ve never heard of.

If I have enough money, I’ll start a bookstore business. My dream job is to be paid for reading books and sell amazing books to a lot of people. My thoughts are jumbled, sorry.✌

So, I’ll be ending this random musings of mine. I’m still bored by the way. 😁


⭐Book Blogging Community⭐

I have always loved to read. The number of books I’ve read through the years seems unnatural (for others).

Before I started this blog (March12,2016), I never tried (again) to discuss books that I’ve read to “normal folks”. There was one time I was raving about Harry Potter and one person told me to stop reading such kind of books because it teaches witchcraft and it’s evil.

My thoughts that time “I’m sorry, WHAT?!” I was raised well (thank you parents❤) so I didn’t retaliate or utter even a single response. BUT deep, deep, deep inside, I was seething. I remember breathing in and out and giving a nod of acknowledgement. Since then, I never discuss books with that person. I curled in my shell and never discuss that part of me to that person. Yes, reading is a HUGE part of me.

I was okay (barely) living in my shell. Discovering and reading books without anyone to share to. Having adventures, laughing and crying with characters. Being friends with book characters and crushing over book boyfriends, lol. 

I was fine. I refuse to let anyone kill my love for reading. I started to gain friends and little by little left my shell. I was beyond lucky to meet people that doesn’t judge me because of my hobby (passion❤), though they don’t share the same interest, they accepted me as ME.

It feels great to freely share my love for books. At some point, a few of my friends got into reading too. Not as much as I did but it’s a progress worth mentioning.

Then, that same person (HP is evil comment) told me to stop influencing MY friends on USELESS things. I know I shouldn’t care but I was young back then. 😭

This Book Blogging Community (is this how we call it?) helped me a lot. I felt for the first time that I belong. On this community, people are friendly and welcoming. In here, we understand that not everyone loves the books that you love and not everyone hates the books that you hate, lol. I can be myself and no one will judge me. I can share my thoughts and I won’t be called evil. In here I’ve experienced “oh I love that book too” and “Ugh, I DNF that book”  and “I recommend this book” moments. I met A LOT of wonderful bloggers and made some cool friends. I get to discuss my current reads, my favorite book and book series.❤

What prompted this post:
I realized how my days and weeks are filled with excitement. How I giddily wait for my favorite book  memes and tags and awards. I love it here. 😁💖

Nobody Knows

I’m currently listening to the song:

—Nobody Knows by Pink—🎶

The line from this song that really struck me is the line:

Nobody likes to loose their inner voice, the one I used to hear before my life made a choice.

My playlist is random and because I’m kinda lazy I just put all my songs in one folder and just turn shuffle on.

It’s a sad song but if someone will sing the chorus part to me, I’ll be glad. The line strucks me because my life is a testament that sometimes I really just can’t control my life. Sometimes, things just happens. Life goes on and… yep, things just roll or something.

Maybe, WHEN I’m in the mood I’ll write a short story, essay, blurb or prompt from a song I’m currently listening. 🙂

Creating My Very Own Villain

In a typical story, you have your hero and you have your villain.

Your hero would be courageous, strong, with a good sense of good and bad and other heroic values a hero should have. Usually, the hero is perfect and if you add a flaw, in the end, the hero would overcome it. Every story ends with a happily ever after.

Now, let’s try visualizing our villain. The villain would be evil, aiming for world domination or just simply aiming for the lead guy or girl. Or maybe someone who’s just projecting whatever misfortune they had to anyone unlucky enough to cross their path.

Now, to my dillema. Do I create a villain who is just evil to the core or a villain who’s just misguided and could possibly turn good in the end?

It’s been a struggle for me to create a villain. I usually end up creating a one dimensional character whose sole purpose is to antagonize my main character, nothing more.

I know for a fact that a hero usually is the driving force of the story but recently I realized the importance of creating a worthy rival.

I’m still a budding, newbie, amateur, young writer and I totally have lots I need to learn more to be able to write a decent story. But every problem or struggle I face when writing, I learn from them and make sure to take down notes.

My journey as a writer is just starting. Lots and lots of practice needed. A legion of heroes and a coven of villains more to create.❤